c'estpourmoi (thisisforme)

leave a comment »

Written by cestpourmoi

July 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

sickening

leave a comment »

a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer.

she’s 27.

she’ll be okay.

Written by cestpourmoi

June 4, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

cynicism is my friend (but is apparently not very becoming on me)

leave a comment »

I love Conan O’Brien, and he is usually good for a lot of laughs, but on his last appearance on the Tonight Show (damn you, Jay Leno and NBC), he actually struck a serious chord and really, really affected me. Conan O’Brien hates cynicism.

WHAT?

Uh, well, I have, for the past however-many years of my life, prided myself on my comical cynicism (I like to think it’s comical). My general bad attitude about most people (okay, really close to all people) and their senses of self-entitlement has been commonplace… I have come to expect the worst from people because that’s all I typically see. (Sorry, that is excepting those of you whom I dearly, dearly love, and even more particularly, those of you whom I dearly love that do not understand how cynicism can be funny!)

But there I go again… is cynicism funny, really? I mean, I’ve always thought that my being able to make jokes out of the horrible condition of the human heart/soul/mind was a sort of optimistic approach. I can laugh a lot of things off this way. Even when I’m seriously offended, or whatever, by someone’s actions or words, I am usually pretty good at laughing it off, and thinking Wow. People suck. So typical. and then following that thought with They’re missing the point. So, you see? I do get the big picture, right? Is this even cynicism?*

So here’s where I just sigh, shrug my shoulders and think I’ll never be who everyone else wants me to be.

This is not to say that I don’t continuously try to better myself and my attitude. I do want to be a better person and I will always try, but I am who I am. And I am loved just the same.

Sorry, Conan.

*Oh, yes, most definitely. 2.a. and 2.b.

Written by cestpourmoi

May 3, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

spring = happy?

with one comment

here comes the sun. dodododo.

maybe if i choose bright and cheery decor and clothing, i will reflect a little of my surroundings. (probably not, but we can try.)

Written by cestpourmoi

April 19, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

i love you rita. (but this is in memory of rusty.)

leave a comment »

I recently read about this website in Reader’s Digest. (Yes, I read Reader’s Digest occasionally.) I loved this post.

I will never forget this one day in particular, in middle school, when I was having a bad day for whatever reason. I came home from school and as soon as I had put my bags away I went back outside and sat on the front step and started crying. Almost immediately, Rusty, our red and black long-haired mutt came up and, with her nose, nudged my hands so I would know she was there (and so I would pet her). I very very clearly remember telling her that she was my only true friend.

Written by cestpourmoi

April 18, 2010 at 7:51 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

and then some

leave a comment »

Written by cestpourmoi

April 14, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

i want it all

leave a comment »

Written by cestpourmoi

April 14, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Posted in Uncategorized